Education In Traditional Family

quite a lot in the life cycle rituals here. The Tay people's rituals for the elderly here include the following forms:

Offering to ward off bad luck for the elderly on the occasion of the annual peace-and-bad luck-praying ceremony: Usually, families with elderly parents, at the beginning of the year, when performing the peace-praying ceremony, also combine it with a pu luong (salary compensation) ceremony with the meaning that children and grandchildren contribute rice to the ceremony to pray for their parents' health and longevity. This ceremony is performed when entering the Quan Sang gate (roughly understood as the official in charge of food).

Offerings to the elderly in the years of conflict with the year of the year: When parents reach the years of conflict with the year of the year such as 49, 61, 73, 85, the Tay people believe that these are years of bad luck, and it is necessary to hold a ceremony to go to Nam Tao Bac Dau to ask for a bridge to bridge the fate of the elderly, this ceremony is called the bridge to slo (bridge to bridge the fate). There are also cases where parents have not reached the year of conflict with the year of the year but are sick and tired, people also hold this ceremony. In this ceremony, there is also the pu luong ritual . This is a form of longevity celebration of the Tay people. Thus, longevity celebration is also a fairly common form of ritual in the cultural and spiritual life of the Tay people here.

Funeral Rituals: In the life cycle rituals of the Tay people, funeral rituals are considered particularly important because they are related to ancestor worship and the concept of the existence of the soul after death. Therefore, as in many other places, the funerals of the Tay people here completely follow traditional procedures under the leadership of shamans. Related to funerals, there are the following main rituals:

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Funeral organization: this ritual is performed by the shaman and his disciples. The time to leave the coffin in the house is from 5 to 10 or 15 days depending on the shaman's timing of the funeral. The main procedures that the shaman performs include fetching spring water, turning on the lights, choosing the direction of the grave, and leaving the funeral. For the shaman who is also a shaman, he also performs the ritual of the shaman flying down to the Dragon King to expel the soul of the deceased and then send it off to the ancestors in Heaven [PL4, p. 171].

The post-funeral ceremonies include: 30-day, 100-day, one-year and two-year (end of mourning) ceremonies. These ceremonies are all performed by the shaman or the Taoist priest. However, due to

Here, the shaman often doubles as a then, so the post-funeral ceremony is still performed by the shaman, but according to the practice method of the then.

Thus, unlike the Kinh people, there are no 7-day, first-anniversary, or annual ceremonies. The 30-day ceremony is probably equivalent to the 49-day ceremony.

It can be seen that in the ritual system of the Tay families here, the rituals related to the human life cycle occupy a more special position. This is a common feature with the Tay people in other residential areas. However, this is more frequent and continuous, and along with it, the traditional rituals are also preserved more. Thus, it can be seen that in the team of shamans practicing in this area, then masters have a more dominant position with their participation in most of the ritual activities of the people.

2.1.4. Education in traditional families

- Moral education and lifestyle: The Tay people are conscious of educating their children from a young age. When children are born, their grandparents and parents sing them lullabies with sweet and loving lyrics. The Tay people rarely beat and scold their children with a whip. They often convey their love and desire for their children to become good people, educate them about their love for their homeland, teach them about human morality... through sweet lullabies, meaningful folk tales, folk songs, proverbs or direct daily teachings. To explain this, some people say that because of their nature-loving, sociable, open and generous lifestyle, they rarely pay attention to or complain about small things; some people also say that they love children so much that they cannot "love them with a whip or a whip, hate them with sweets or sweets". However, according to the author of the thesis, the reason why the Tay people rarely beat their children is because they are afraid that the spirit (khoan) of the beaten child will escape, making the child sick, scared or unable to sleep well, affecting their health.

The Tay people teach their children to remember the merits of their parents. To raise their children, their parents have gone through many hardships and difficulties, taking care of every meal, piece of clothing, and cherishing every sleep. When they are young, their parents are the ones who take care of and worry about their children. When they are old, their parents no longer have the strength to work.

If we have to work and earn a living, we have to rely on our children and grandchildren. Taking care of our parents when they are old, sick, or ill is the responsibility of our children and grandchildren; not being aware of that means trampling on the filial piety and humanism that the community has worked hard to build for a long time. If our parents unfortunately pass away, no matter how poor they are, we will try to hold a thoughtful funeral to send their souls back to the world of our ancestors, where our parents' souls will be cool and satisfied, and our children and grandchildren will also have peace of mind to do business.

Besides the word “filial piety” to grandparents and parents, the relationship between siblings is also highly valued by the people. Siblings are members of the same family, of the same bloodline, so they must love and support each other in times of difficulty and adversity; when the family has a job or event such as a wedding or funeral, the first people they think of are their siblings and children. Everyone stands up to arrange and organize the work, those who have money help, those who do not have money help with labor and strength…

The ethics of husband and wife are always explained and analyzed by grandparents and parents to their children and grandchildren, from the time they live with their parents until they become the daughter-in-law or son-in-law of someone else. When they first start a family, due to lack of life experience, young couples cannot avoid disagreements with each other as well as conflicts and misunderstandings with other members of the family and clan. Therefore, regular education from grandparents and parents is extremely necessary.

Lifestyle education is important to people's awareness. Respect in eating, walking and some family activities are things that parents often teach their children. Such behaviors not only create family traditions but also demonstrate the family's cultural traditions, especially through which children will respect their parents more.

- Education and experience transfer: The Tay people mainly live on agricultural cultivation. In addition, due to the living environment near forests, rivers and streams, they know how to exploit natural resources. These livelihood activities have been carried out for generations and have been summarized into many valuable experiences, helping people to be more stable in their livelihood activities, thereby gradually improving their lives.

Those valuable experiences are passed down from generation to generation, father to son, brother to brother , mother to daughter, sister to sister, such as: experience in wet rice farming, rice cultivation, land preparation, stages such as plowing, harrowing, leveling the field, sowing, transplanting, weeding, harvesting...

The Tay people live in an environment that does not receive the generosity of nature, so in order to survive and create a comfortable life, they must be self-reliant, have to work hard and rely on their hands to make food and clothing. Therefore, the elders in the family and clan often educate their children and grandchildren to be self-aware in labor and strive to improve their lives. In the livelihood activities of the Tay people, besides rice fields, slash-and-burn cultivation is equally important because it contributes to supplementing the food source for the people here; therefore, the transmission of slash-and-burn cultivation techniques is extremely necessary. However, the Tay people do not rigidly teach children from beginning to end, but choose and instruct them on easy tasks first; after they are proficient, they will continue to teach them other tasks.

Handicraft transmission: The weaving profession of the Tay people in Cao Bang province has existed for a long time. Woven products are mainly used to serve the needs of family wear, as dowry when the daughter marries, and partly for barter exchange, supplementing the family economy. Due to the nature of the traditional economy of the ethnic group being self-sufficient, weaving plays a very important role in families and communities. Therefore, every grandmother and mother knows how to weave and is always conscious of passing on weaving and embroidery skills to their daughters, sisters and granddaughters so that they can make beautiful costumes to wear during holidays, especially at their own weddings.

- Education of spiritual and cultural values: The spiritual and cultural values have been preserved and developed by the Tay people through many generations until today, mainly thanks to the effectiveness of traditional education in the family. They not only teach their children and grandchildren with ordinary words but also combine it with the practice of traditional rituals, lifestyles and activities to pass on. From childhood, everyone has witnessed and practiced those elements of fire protection, living in that cultural atmosphere, so everyone has

It has seeped into their hearts without them knowing, but they know that it is an indispensable part of their lives.

In the spiritual life of the people, teaching the generations about the religion and beliefs of the ethnic group is always promoted, especially on holidays and funerals. Through that, the next generation can understand the community's concept of life, death, the afterlife and their historical origins.

In order to effectively transmit intangible cultural values and preserve them vividly in the folk, educating the value of language and writing is extremely important. People are born, no matter where they are or what ethnicity they are, they all have the language of their ethnic group - "mother tongue". That language is familiarized by the child through the lullabies of their mother and grandmother - the affectionate lullabies, containing many cultural traits, behaviors and psychological characteristics of the community... All of these gradually permeate the child's soul and then, at some point, it becomes flesh and blood, the source of life flowing in each person.

Education in the traditional family of the Tay people in Cao Bang province is reflected in many different aspects of life, such as: production labor, culture, customs, language, ethics and lifestyle... as a system that forms the personality and character of the community, which are the basic characteristics that create the cultural nuances of the Tay people in Cao Bang province.

2.1.5. Behavior in traditional families

2.1.5.1. Behavior between husband and wife

The Tay people in Vietnam in general and the Tay people in Cao Bang province in particular call the family unit “slún” or “lún” (house), due to the pronunciation of each region, “chang slún” or “chang luôn” must be understood as: in the house, in the family. The man in the Tay family is called “chau slún” (house owner).

The traditional family of the Tay people is a patriarchal family, in which the chau ruon belongs to the father or eldest son, who owns all the property, has the right to decide all the work in the house, and is responsible for worshiping.

worship and is the representative of the family to deal with external issues. When the father dies, the property is divided among the sons.

Like other ethnic groups, the Tay people in Cao Bang province have long lived together as families, so the husband always assumes the role of head of the family, the head of the family, the one with the highest power, the voice over all family members, and the one who decides all big and small matters in the family. The patriarchal nature is expressed in the case where the father is usually the head of the family, when he is old and weak, the eldest son will take over as head of the family. The husband as the head of the family is expressed with great power, deciding all matters from business, marriage for the children, representing the family in relations with the village, social organizations, local authorities, and undertaking heavy work.

As a relatively independent economic unit, in production as well as in daily work, the Tay family has a fairly strict division of labor for each person according to gender and age. Men always undertake heavy work such as plowing, harrowing, clearing fields, building houses, livestock barns, and production tools. In addition, they also have to take care of funerals, weddings, ceremonies, receiving distinguished guests, buying and selling livestock, borrowing large amounts of money, etc. Women often do less heavy work such as: planting, harvesting, weeding, fertilizing, collecting firewood, taking care of housework, raising children, spinning, weaving, small business, borrowing small amounts of money, and thanking relatives according to custom, etc. The work of raising livestock, poultry, cutting grass, etc. is undertaken by the elderly and children. However, in Tay society, people also highly appreciate the role of women who are responsible in production, economic activities, thoughtful in taking care of their husband's parents, and have good relationships with relatives on both sides.

The behavior between husband and wife in the family is shown in deciding family issues, in educating children, in organizing and managing the family, in emotional relationships and resolving conflicts. To do these things well requires the efforts and hard work of both, but still following the hierarchy and order in the family.

We realize that in traditional society, Tay women in general and Tay women in Cao Bang province in particular, also suffer disadvantages.

Due to the influence of some social prejudices, especially women in rural areas, who work hard all year round, with mud on their feet and hands, they have a lower status than men in the family as well as in society. In fact, women have to do a lot of work, they play a big role in production, doing all the work without fear of hardship: farming, raising animals, collecting firewood. On holidays, while men go out to wish each other a happy new year, they stay home to cook rice and make cakes to worship their ancestors and to welcome guests. The endurance, hard work and sacrifice of women are always beautiful traits that last forever.

It can be said that in the family, both husband and wife have roles and responsibilities in economic management, but the woman is always the one who takes care of and is busy with small tasks in the family as well as farm work. Therefore, the role of the wife in the family is very important, but still depends a lot on the husband, who is the head of the family. If the father is absent, the woman in the family, the mother, can also represent the father to decide all matters in the family, but does not have the right to decide on important matters such as housing, weddings, and spending money. If when deciding something, everyone in the family can still sit down and discuss to find the best solution, but to reach a final solution, it must rely on the consent of the head of the family. Even if that decision goes against the discussion of all family members, everyone must still obey without objection.

Therefore, in the Tay family, in general, the relationship between husband and wife is the relationship of " Wife's way, husband's duty ", because the traditional wife's way is to always determine her role to preserve the warmth and happiness of the family, to be a solid support for her husband and children. Husband and wife care and share all the work in the family, however, the patriarchal nature is still heavy in the relationship between husband and wife. The wife has the right to participate in giving opinions on family work, but the final decision still depends on the husband without any objection. The patriarchal system, influenced by Confucian ideology, has been deeply imprinted in the life of every Tay family here, binding

forcing women, wives in the "three obediences" religion, makes women not have a certain voice in the family.

2.1.5.2. Behavior between parents and children

In the traditional Tay family, all matters of the children are decided by the parents, even the important marriage of the children is arranged by the parents . This way of behaving is strongly influenced by feudal etiquette in traditional society which emphasizes order and authority of men.

From a young age, children are carefully cared for and raised by their parents. Parents teach their children to be independent, pass on experience in production, animal husbandry, and teach them household chores. From a young age, parents teach their children to help their parents with work, instructing them in labor depending on their health and age. Young children can look after the house, look after younger siblings, or herd buffalo. Parents guide and teach their children how to do business and how to behave with others with love, so it is rare for children in Tay families to argue with their elders. Families are often very harmonious, children love their parents very much, when parents are sick, children wholeheartedly support and care for them, when parents unfortunately pass away, family members are responsible for contributing and organizing a solemn funeral.

In general, the head of the family has full authority in managing all family affairs as well as social affairs, from family economic work, to house building, to attending weddings and funerals. However, in educating children, both fathers and mothers have practical roles. Besides the father as the head of the family, the mother also has an important role in raising children and taking care of the family economy. For children, the mother is always the one who is close, loving, taking care of the children's health from meals to sleep, teaching them to study, morality, behavior, respect for elders, love for grandparents, parents... In addition, the mother is also the one who takes care of economic business, agricultural production such as growing rice, food crops, crops, raising livestock to create goods for exchange and sale to increase the family's economic income.

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